1. You can read a doctor’s handwriting.
2. You’ve seen dead people, and it doesn’t bother you anymore.
3. You have shoes that you absolutely won’t wear home.
4. You have the urge to boil your clothes after working a shift.
5. You’ve seen people at their worst and don’t think any less of them.
6. You think code browns are funny.
7. You love walking into a complete stranger’s room and whipping up their gown.
8. You carry a paper around called brains, and you are not technically a zombie.
9. You barely recognize your spouse and children.
10. You can go twelve hours without peeing and not even notice.
11. You really, really want a pair of shoes that are like walking on air.
12. You can debate the finer points of scrub shirts.
13. You have absolutely no problem sticking sharp objects into people’s skin.
14. You pray for blood sugars less than 120 so you don’t have to cover.
15. You hear the sound of beeping IV pumps in your dreams.
16. You don’t think all of the call bells lit up like Christmas is anywhere near beautiful.
17. You’ve learned to celebrate holidays at creative times.
18. You don’t have a weekend to talk about, really.
19. You think of sleep and coffee as the two most important things in your life.
20. You know that loading your pockets with stuff will save you steps later in the shift.
21. You’ve been yelled at by a doctor and reacted with professional calmness.
22. You’ve ever fought with a doctor for something a patient needs.
23. You’re not fazed by the sight of blood, though it does make you upset for the patient.
24. You think the red tube of a blood transfusion IV is kinda cool looking.
25. You absolutely hate your job issued cell phone.
26. You use hand sanitizer almost religiously.
27. Your hands are permanently chapped from constant and vigorous washing.
28. You think you look good in yellow when you go into a C-diff room.
29. You have an opinion on the relative qualities of stethoscopes.
30. You still don’t know the difference between rales, rhonchi, and crackles.
31. You’re excited when patients pee enough for the shift.
32. You’ve seen more genitals than a porn addict and find them boring.
33. You can discuss invasive treatments over a nice meal.
34. You can’t get your loved ones to understand why you love a job so challenging.
35. You have to be dying to go see a doctor yourself.
36. You think a bag of potato chips eaten while charting constitutes a lunch.
37. You rely on your coworkers when the proverbial BM hits the fan.
38. You can handle a code without freaking out, doing your job like you were trained.
39. You love your CNAs as a precious commodity that needs to be pampered like royalty.
40. You expect interruptions and experience them with alarming frequency.
41. You hand out pain medications like candy.
42. You have very specific and passionate opinions about Crocs.
43. You shudder when thinking about inserting an IV and want to just call the IV team.
44. You are freaked out by trachs and NG tubes.
45. You love your job despite the hardships that you have to face every day.