I recently married my boyfriend of 10 years. In our time together, he has learned to tolerate some of the things that come out of my mouth. My career as a nurse has shaped me into an individual that sometimes lacks a filter. There is no telling what I might talk about over dinner. I still have to be very cautious when discussing anything related to needles for fear he might end up on the floor. Contemplating marrying a nurse? The following are a few things to know before marrying your nurse.
The Lack of Sympathy
Your nurse will not have sympathy for your man cold or the tiny cut on your cuticle. She has seen worse, much worse. She may humor you for a moment or two, but then you are on your own. She has seen worse, much worse.
A Protective Eye
Although you may not receive much sympathy for the little things, your nurse could be the one that saves you one day. He or she may someday detect something that you would not have otherwise thought to check. Your nurse knows when to ignore the little things and pay attention when attention is due.
The Strange Hours
Most nurses work twelve hours shifts, often three in a row. Your nurse will be off the grid for those three days fully so you will have to fend for yourself. Meals will be of the quick and easy variety and you will likely be the chef. Forget including him or her in any social activities on those days unless it is a final shift before vacation.
The Dinner Discussions
Nurses lose a sense of awareness and couth with time. There are no discussions that are too gory or too sensitive. As you try to enjoy your meal, prepare to be inundated with a lengthy description of the sights, sounds, and, smells of a patient sick with C Diff.
The Missed Holidays
Expect that your nurse will work a holiday or two during your marriage. Let me rephrase this. Your nurse will work one of any major holidays every year for the rest of your working life together. It is just as hard for them as it is for you.
The Recovery Days
There are some shifts your nurse will come home from that take all of his or her days off to recover from. Showing up to work is not always routine. Sometimes the trauma witnessed at work takes it toll on even the toughest of nurses. If you come home to find your nurse in his or her pajamas, balled up on the couch, and binge watching Netflix for no apparent reason, head my advice. Turn around, head out the door, and buy any number of chocolate or savory treats. Spoil him or her. Give plenty of love and hugs. Your worst working day will never compare to a nurse’s worst working day.
The Strange Humor
Nurses learn to find humor where humor is rarely found. It is a way to cope with the difficult days, difficult patients, and/or difficult friends or family of a patient. Humor the laughs and remember it has evolved out of necessity.
This is probably why you chose your nurse. A nurse is a loyal being. This devotion is seeded in nursing school and is at the very core of each nurse’s being. It is a devotion to see a patient through to health or to the end, both with dignity. It is a fierce loyalty that gives the courage to speak up when something feels wrong. You will be on the receiving end of this very devotion if you are lucky.
When all is said and done and you have said your I do’s, you will be thankful you chose a nurse. While he or she may lack a filter and laugh inappropriately at times, your nurse is a beacon of compassion, empathy, strength, and love. Happy wedding!
Lori is an American nurse and yogini living in Gothenburg, Sweden. She contributes regularly to Mighty Nurse, AWHONN, American Nurse Today, and has been featured in The Huffington Post. Follow her adventures through her blog, Neonurse, or on Instagram.