Reply To: Patients say the darndest things

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I work in an urgent care/general practice clinic and was beginning to interview a new patient who had a BMI of 45.

Me: “So tell me what is bringing you in today.”

Pt: “I think I might be overweight.”

Me (caught off guard): “Ok. Tell me more about that.”

Pt: “Well, all my friends and family have been saying I am and I think maybe I might be, so I thought I’d come be tested.”

Me: “What exactly is it you want to be tested for?”

Pt: “To see if I might be overweight!”

I let the provider confirm her suspicion that she was in fact overweight.

Another pt came in and the provider ordered a urine drug screen, which came back positive for cocaine. This particular provider tells me to go in and ask why she was positive for cocaine before he went in.

So I did. The patient got a deer in the headlights look on her face and says “Whaaat? My boyfriend must be putting crack in my weed!” and I said “But you didn’t test positive for marijuana.” and she replied “Aw, well you got me there.”

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