Reply To: Patients say the darndest things

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Ladyveteran
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I was assessing an elderly woman who was needing nursing home admit due to failure to thrive. I lifted her very ample breasts to assess for yeast (positive). She looked up at me and said, “I used to be so proud of those things. Now they’re just knee warmers.” Needless to say we both had a roaring good laugh.

An elderly man had a hernia repair and was having problems using the urinal. I had already helped him several times that night. I put gloves on, grabbed the urinal and did what I had already done that night, gently took his penis and went to place it in the urinal. At the same time the pt went to put his penis in the urinal. Needless to say that was one hand too many. The gentleman looked up at me and stated, “I never thought I’d live to see the day it took two hands to wrestle that thing.” The next second he realized what he said as we both went into laughing fits!

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