Reply To: Patients say the darndest things

Home Forums Nurse Humor Patients say the darndest things Patients say the darndest things Reply To: Patients say the darndest things

Profile photo of Theresa

As a new nurse in the ED 20 years ago I had a patient walk into the ED and state, “I’m in that V-Tach again.” I thought to myself, “yeah right.” Walked him to the bed and connected him to the monitor. Sure enough! He was in V-Tach! The MD got all excited and asked me to defib him. I asked could I sedate the pt first since he was A & O and had stable VS. Never again have I doubted a pt telling me they were in “that V-Tach,” again. This was before AICDs!

I loved when they had “high blood” “sugar” and best “I have THE cancer” and best of all screaming, “I can’t breath” over and over! Well shut up and breathe! If you can’t breath not talking would help. Also, “I’m choking!” “I’m choking!” If you’re choking you can’t talk!

Very large woman after having a BM, “You’ll have to wipe me.” Who wipes you at home? “My 32 year old son.” Then proceeds to bend over the commode, places elbows on the seat (the commode hasn’t been flushed!) LOL and they wonder why we are the way we are. Nothing is sacred!


Skip to toolbar