We all have lived through these feelings. I agree with the need to look closely at the contract. Most organizations will not sue to get the money back. You may be able to transfer to another unit of the hospital. Think about what type of nursing is really appealing to you and look for that position. You cannot go on being miserable in your job. That will mean your life focus is miserable and do you want to live every day that way? Also the mentor idea is a good one. Find someone you look up to and ask as many questions as possible. Even one as simple/ direct as “. How do you make it through the shift”? He or she may have had similar feelings and with more experience have developed some shortcuts to make the shift run smoother. As for physicians, you have the right to ask them to stop yelling and speak to you calmly. I have walked away from a doc and told him when he was ready to talk in a normal tone, I would discuss the issue. Most will back down if you stand up to the person. If that doesn’t work, reporting/writing up the issue is appropriate. Good luck!