Sexual harassment?

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    This thread is NOT for me. I was asked to post this anonymously for someone who did not want to be identified. The greetings and preamble have been removed and only the part I was asked to post is included:

    “I used to date a co-worker (I know, bad idea) and we dated for a little over one year, but he was more interested in going out with his friends and having a good time than spending time with me, so we broke up. He wanted to get back together, but I knew he wasn’t remotely ready for the type of relationship I wanted, so I said no. It was awkward working with him, so I asked to have my schedule changed so I wouldn’t see him at work other than staff meetings and we would still work one day every two weeks together, which I grew to dread. Once he was convinced I wasn’t going to take him back, he started spreading rumors about me and I always felt like he was trying to throw me under the bus. The worst part is about 6 months ago our manager quit, and he became the new department manager. I had been working as the charge nurse on most of my shifts, but after he became my boss, I was rarely assigned to be charge nurse. He said it was because he wants to train the newer nurses to fill the role. I’m still charge occasionally, so I can’t show a total banishment, but it still irritates me. None of my suggestions at staff meetings are ever taken seriously anymore, and I’m starting to get emails reprimanding me for poor charting or staff complaints about me, when neither of these were ever an issue in the past. I can’t really prove he is out to get me, but he is out to get me. The job market in my town is not very good right now, so leaving would mean a serious pay cut and I wouldn’t be doing the type of nursing I enjoy (medical floor at the hospital, while the only place that is currently hiring RNs is the nursing home with a quick turn over in the staff because of historically poor work environment.)

    What can I do? Any suggestions would be most appreciated. Thank you.”

    The above was copy and pasted from a message by someone who will check the forums, but didn’t want to be identified … I wrote back to her my suggestion, but it really wasn’t much, so if you have some experience in this area and are willing to help, please do so.


    If she can’t prove that he is out to get her then she literally has two choices: stick around and deal with it or transfer out of the unit/facility. One thing she can do is go to HR and voice her concerns about the supposed staff complaints. “Ever since the change in management I have been written up because of staff complaints but this was never an issue before. I would like to know why all of a sudden my coworkers are having problems with me.” She has the right to face her accusers. While based on the story I think she’s probably right, she has to be prepared for the possibility that the complaints are true but that the previous manager either didn’t deal with it or did so quietly.

    At this point the question she needs to ask herself is “What can I do to change my situation?” and follow through. She can’t change him, so she will need to change herself, and in all likelihood the only way that will happen is to leave the position. In the meantime, document, document, document. If he tells her there was a complaint about her charting, she needs to tell him to show her specifically what the problem is. If he says a staff member complained about her, ask for a meeting between her and the staff member to resolve the issue (with that last one make sure she has her own witness at the meeting.).


    Grow from past mistake and continue good judgement. Report the conflict of interest between you and current supervisor. Move on, to another unit in hospital or explore using your skills in immediate post op, wound center, doctors office, clinic, or call center. Change it up. You’ve wasted enough time and talent.

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