We want to see how creative our nursing community can be!
1. Fill in the 5 blanks in the cartoon and share your version in the comments section below.
2. The comment that gets the most “haha” replies, will win a prize!
1. The door to door sprint
2. Where’s my pain pill?!
4. Can I get a cup of water… with 5 ice cubes?
5. Where’s my remote?!?
Did you just laugh at your own examples?
He totally did. Bahahahaha
Nice Ha ha
1. See how fast my nurse can run-thon
2.uumm I need toilet paper, the guy across the hall came and stole mine.
3.I cant get the window open to smoke..can you give me a hand?
4. What was the name of that medicine you just gave me? I forgot to tell you I’m allergic to penicillin!
5.I think I’m supposed to be fasting but my wife just brought me a bigmac..can I get you to bring me juice to wash it down with?
Haha good one!
0400 MED Pass Dash
Help Me Please Help Me Please
Pain Meds and Ativan Pain Meds and Ativan
channel 3 please
Nurse He is peeing on me
1. whack a call light (whack a mole) style
2. I cant seem to find my remote (its in your hand)
3. Someone lost their toilet paper next door!
4.I wanted to see how long it would take you to respond!
5.What time is it?
Well done.. haha
Boy,And I was told Nurses do not answer Call bells.
HA! I do answer call bells, albeit not as often as the CNAs, but if I am not incredibly swamped, OR if I know the CNAs I work with are incredibly swamped (even if I am as well) I answer call bells.
I would rather answer call bells than have someone attempt to ambulate, that should not be ambulating, and then end up on the floor.
I totally agree with you. If I know they are actually working and not hiding, I will help them out as much as I can. If I know they are hiding, I will page them over the intercom…lol
1. The call bell olympics
2. I need to go to the bathroom.
3. Can I have a straw that bends?
4. Can you stop this thing from beeping?
5. I just soiled myself.
1. The nursing “Quadrupethon,” a contest on how fast you can answer 5 call lights ringing at the same time!
2. I need my pain pill, 2 cokes, and could you find out why dinner is taking sooooo long?
3. Ummmm…I think someone is toilet papering the hall!
4. There’s blood coming out of my Dad’s
big toe. Is that normal?
5. My daughter is on the phone from Timbucktoo and wants to know what the Dr. told me this morning. Hurry, she’s calling long distance.
make that 4 call lights, typo!
hahaha good ones
1: Say something your nurse has never heard before.
2: Thank you for responding so quickly, you are the best.
3: I want to be a nurse just like you when I grow up.
4: I pooped the bed, but my family cleaned everything up already.
5: I’m allergic to narcotics, can I just have a Tylenol instead.
I actually have had patient #5. She had just had a knee replacement and was scheduled for the 2nd knee to be replaced 3 days later. Even the tiniest bit of dilaudid made her throw up. Poor thing had a miserable night.
I’ve actually heard all of them at least once … they are just so rare I had to put them up.
Tis was only in fairy nurse land Jason admit it lol
1.Rapid fire call bell answering
2.Get over here! My lasix is working!
3. Can’t you answer those call bells?!? They’re so annoying!
4.@#$%&!!! You expect me to $%&* in this?!?
5.I’ve beeeen waiting for my pain medication. I’ve been ringing for over an hour! What do you nurses REALLY do?
1. snap, crackle, PLOP!!!!
2. NURSE I can’t reach it, can you see look whats hanging out?!
3. This button won’t turn the channel!!!
4. Can you move my pillow over 2 inches?
5. oh, ummm I forgot
hehehe…that is a pretty normal night
You are SO right Heather. lolol
Haha if I had a dollar for every time I heard #3…
Yes #3 and #5 are the most that I hear. But the things I’ve been asked to look at… ROFL!!!!!
(1) The Call-light Shuffle
(2) “Ohhhh the pain……the tape is pulling my chest hairs”
(2) “I need toilet paper!”
(3) “Oh you’re still here, honey? Oh I don’t want to bother you. I’ll just wait till next shift to put my order in”
(4) “I was just trying to change the dang
channel on this here thingy”
(5) “I don’t care if it’s 3am….call my doctor. I need a laxative NOW!”
#4..good one, cute!!
#5 been there, heard that.. haha
1. Ready, set, go, Super Nurse for just 12 more hours.
2. Oops, did I push the button, oh, sorry. While you are here, can you just hand me my bag?
3. Can I get a cup of coffee and a sleeping pill?
4. Would you mind shaving my legs?
5. I can’t breathe.
#3 hahaha..that’s like driving with your brakes on.. hehe..
hahaha…been there, done that!
Haha I especially love #3 and #4!
Haha story of my life #2,3,5
1.Dancing lights relay
2.Revolving Door Sprint
3. The “Tissue Paper” Roll
4. “I’m not going to make it relay”
5. The Shuffle- help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
1. The Joys of a 12hr Nursing shift.
2. Oh kwap! Dang CPR is in rm 5.. whoops!
3. It’s only 5am.. i need my Ambien!
4. Nurse Suzie..WAKE UP! you’re 15 min break has turned into 45 min.. ugh!
5. oops.. sorry Dr. Ellis, didn’t know you were in there with Nurse Suzie..
1. Midnight Madness
2. Nurse, my IV came out!
3. Call the doctor! I’m having stomach pains!
4. Help! My epidural isn’t working!
5. Bring me my morphine!
Assess the situations. Room 1 wants to get something to drink – Room 2 wants to have head raised- Room 3 wants to use the bed pan=Room 4’s IV is out Call IV therapy or Start again according to policy. Rm 5 just wants to talk. try to reassure pt to relax them then return to Nurses station
#1 Short Staff Shuffle
#2 It hurts so bad, can you please bring me that pain pill…I’ve been waiting for an hour (5min)
#3 Ummm, hello? I keep seeing this red light, can you please turn it off, I can’t sleep
#4 I think the patient in the room next door fell…they keep yelling and I just saw their toilet paper roll across the hallway floor.
#5 Please come quick, I can’t find my glasses…oh never mind their on my head.
5 min later…Please come quick! Oh, hi dear, did you need something? No, I didn’t call you, are you sure you got the right room?
Haha I like #4…gotta love when patients inform you on the status of your other patients and/or diagnose them for you!
1 – ON YOUR MARK, SET GO!!
2 – CAN YOU TURN THE LIGHT OUT…
3 – CAN YOU COVER MY FEET..
4 – CAN YOU CALL MY DAUGHTER AND TELL HER I NEED ANOTHER BLANKET…(HELLOOO, LADY ITS 3 IN THE MORNING)
5 – CAN YOU TURN HIS (OTHER PATIENT) TV OFF, ITS NOT LETTING ME SLEEP…
1. Don’t tell anybody, but I just fell down in the bathroom.
2. Sorry to bother you but that guy in the other bed isn’t breathing.
3. Can I borrow your cell phone, for just a minute?
4. That little old lady across the hall just went out the back door.
1. Call Light 5k
2. [Dementia patient] HELP! HELP! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO GO HOME. LET ME GO! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A PRISONER!
3. NURSE! I have an emergency. [leans in and whispers] I just GOTTA have a cigarette.
4. I swear I just saw a roll of toilet paper roll out of that room. Can you put it in MY bathroom? I just ran out.
5. IT’S BEEN 2 HOURS. MY DILAUDID IS DUE NOW!
1. How psych nursing is waaayy different…
2. MY ARM WAS PULLED OUT!!
3. I’M A MUMMY!!
5. DONT THINK I DONT KNOW THAT THIS CALL BUTTON IS A BOMB!!
haha – also worked Psych
#1 wants her pain meds, she also requested that we push the IV Dilaudid quickly.
#2 needs a bed pan, but has a colostomy & foley
#3 is confused and just called 911. (He thinks his 1:1 observer is the devil)
#4 is a frequent flyer who wants to talk to the supervisor, regarding the care he received on a previous visit……12 admissions ago.
#5’s expired waiting for someone to answer her call bell.
1. Call Light-a-thon
2. My uncle Frank came to see me.
3. The lady across the hall, her uncle came to see her.
4. There is a man at the window, he wants to come see his niece.
5. Will you let that man in.
Funny thing is this really happened in our LTC facility!
1. The nursing boogie…get your skates
2.”mumble mumble bleeding NOW!
3. “You call this #%$ dinner? Nurse!
4. “Nurse! I heard something fall next door and there’s toilet paper in the hall! Those damn kids are at in in there again! Can’t you do SOMETHING? All five of us are trying to sleep!”
5. “Hello? Is anyone out there? I know I’ve called 12 times but I really need you to change this channel and clean up my pee off the walls!”
1. The OMG, I have to Pee, Cross-legged Shuffle.
2. How do I get an outside line on this thing.
3. I didn’t hit the call light but since your here…..
4. This tube fell out of my nose.
5. My penis hurts when I pull this, why is that?
Lol I actually had a patient used to call screaming in “agony” saying please help me! My penis hurts so bad please rub it! No way! Lol
1. I’m going as fast as I can with a smile. Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! My bladder is so full that I need a foley catheter for myself!
2. Oh my goodness! Mrs. Smith is crawling over the rails AGAIN trying to get out of bed!!! How I wish she had a sitter or family member so I wasn’t in here every few minutes! Wow! Close call that time!
3. Whew, another call light on! Does this ever end? And where did this toilet paper come from? Family member: Yes, could you please bring some coffee for my dad and the 15 visitors that he has in here? Me thinking: Seriously? Me replying: How many want black coffee and how many with cream and sugar? Me thinking: I’m a high priced waitress!
4. I NEED AN ENEMA RIGHT NOW! The MOM that you gave me 5 minutes ago isn’t working.
5. I’m on my way! Where is my nurse aide anyway? Me: Yes Mr. Jones, how can I help you? Mr Jones: My call light has been on for 5 minutes and 24 seconds. Me: Ok, how can I help you now? Mr. Jones: I forgot what I called for because you took too long!
1. Can you open this please? (Admitted as a ruleout, age 23)
2. Can you get my boyfriend something to eat ?
3. Do you have condoms at this hospital? (REALLY)
4. Do I have to go home? (Admitted for constipation)
5. Can I please have my pain medicine (with slurred speech, eyes close and finger on the pain pump button!)
2.I need some of that dil..dila..stuff
3.I am sick at my stomach!! Can I have a snack?
4. More charting, more charting!!!
5. JC is in the house!!
1.NO!!! DON’T DRINK THAT MR.SMITH, IT’S NOT APPLE JUICE IT’S A URINE SAMPLE I LEFT ON YOUR TABLE!!
2.I NEED MY TOILET PAPER YOU TOOK OUT ON YOUR SHOE!!
3.YOU CAN GIVE ME A SHOT FOR MY SUGAR, AFTER I EAT THE CAKE!!
4.THE CALL LIGHT IS NOT THE PHONE!!
1. The body fluid derby
2. I need an emesis basin
3. Can you empty my urinal
4. My IV “fell out”
5. I soiled my bed
1. National Nurse Neuropathy
2. Where’s my teeth?!?
3. The crap is out!
4. I need my pain pill! Hurry before I fall asleep.
5. No! That was an accident.
1) The Ultimate Multi-task-athon
2) My Bed is full of blood My IV “fell” out
3) Hey nurse.. I need that toilet paper in the hall
4) Can I get a packet of salt and a coke?
5) Will you please turn my pillow?
1 The administraton hall of death
2 We need to review the rounding sheets
3 Why did you take 2 bedpans from the omnicell
4 the pixis count is off again
5 We know you are a adult ICU nurse but can you float to PICU
I work in a nursing home…call light goes on and the shouting begins:
1. I need the bedpan – NOW
2. Haaayelp meh, Haaaayelp meh
3. Can you tell me where that light on the ceiling is coming from?
4. Where am I? Why am I here? How long have I been here? (answers provided) Repeat.
5. Can you move my pillow (nowhere you put it is where she wants it)
2. Is my poop suppose to look like this?
3. It’s time for my da da dilaudid
4. Can you hand me my water then get me a 7 up and a sandwich
5. Nurse…I’m wet.
2. I have diarrhea!
3. I think my husband had a bowel movement – come fast!
4. I have to poop NOW and I won’t use a bedpan – give me my walker!
5. You’re not fast enough! I have to poop now *bed alarm*
1. Ten minutes before shift change…
2. “Can you please close my door?”
3. “Can you please open my door?”
4. “My dilaudid is due in 5 minutes, just thought I would give you a heads up.”
5. Bed alarm going off because pt with dementia decides they want to go get something from their kitchen.
1. Psych Ward Dash
2. I SEE DEAD PEOPLE! YAAAAAAAAAAAH!
3. *watching WWE, while recking stuff* YEAH BREAK HIS NECK!
4. MY PEE! i CANT CONTROL MY PEE!
5. FIRE HELP!
enjoyed the rooms 1-5 comments.very comical but true….
1.) The “Post Partum Panic” Dash
2.) Dad: The baby just pooped…do we need to change his diaper? Me: Umm, yes you do. Dad: But there are still a few family members who want to hold him. (:face palm:)
3.) My baby is hungry but my family is coming soon…is it okay if I wait to feed her?
4.) How do I know if my baby needs to be fed or changed?
5.) My baby won’t stop crying…is there something wrong?
1. My pain medicine will due in 10 minutes, I thought I would tell you early so I’ll get it on time.
2. Can I have nausea medicine and something to eat?
3. (Arriving to room in about a minute after call light is on) It’s about time, I’ve been ringing for over an hour, I need my pillow fluffed
4. Can I have some more daloopy for pain? (Pt meant dilaudid)
5. I heard snow was moving in, thought I’d better get in here before I get sick
Bahaha! So true!
1.Ringing bells.. .Something smells.
2. What time is it? (Sir, there is a clock just above your whiteboard)
3. My stomach hurts, can I have some pain medicine? Oh, I also ordered a hamburger which hasn’t come yet, can you call the kitchen? (:/)
4. Time: 1845 Patient request: I accidently pulled my IV out, my arm is bleeding now. (Cool)
5. Oh, I am sorry, I must have rolled over on the call light to accidently ring it, AGAIN.
1. American Heart Association 10,000 steps per day training.
2. Cough cough…”I just swallowed my teeth Nurse!”
3. “Nurse, my toilet paper is gone, can I use my sheets?”
4. Wonder gross sounds (we all know it) “nurse, (blah, gag, plung) nurse!!!! (Blah, gag, plung) it’s happening again”
5. “I need the bedpan again” even though they just were on it for an hour and didn’t go and has a permanent bed pad ring on their bottom.
Im a cna and have herd all of these, made my night. However I used to work ltc and little old ladies screaming get that cat out of my room. That was alwas my personal fav it happened vso often I started to think we may have a cat infestation!!!!
1 room 2 pt is in my room showing his but and asking how to get to the ballfield2.r oom 2 bed alarm going off cause he is mia3. Wanting to buy tickets to the ballgame pt 2 is looking for.4. Wanting to know the score of the ballgame everyone is talking about and finally room 5. Wants their pain med and earphones to drown out all the talk of ballgames cause he is in traction after a horrific slide at home base
1. The call light Quintepelon.
2. Oh, sorry…did I push the call light? I thought I was changing the TV channel.
3. Hello? Is this thing on? The voices are coming back!
4. Hey, I think my neighbor just threw my roll of toilet paper down the hallway! Can I get a new one?
5. Heelllp! I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!
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