But why does it feel like somebody left the parking brake on?
We still have exams every Monday in the Pathophysiology class; but the exams are not really testing our knowledge of patho, and the correct answers are relating to very random peripheral factoids rather than focusing on making sure that we understand disease processes.
So we are spent, confused, and frankly angry.
Many students who had a 4.0 until this term (I almost did), are now watching their GPA sink due in no part to any lack of studying.
We have tried to discuss this with the professors, but they essentially maintain that they are basically infallible. The class average at this point has dropped a full 10-15 percentage points.
Morale is at an all-time low, and most of us just want to pass and get on with our lives, regardless of the numbers that will follow us.
Spring is finally here, and today was our first warm day.
I am trying to enjoy it and not focus on my headache, my frustration, and my desire to get these next few weeks over with as quickly as possible.
There will be a lot of small tasks to complete in that time … clinical hours to be finished, forms to be filled out, preceptorships to be assigned … and there will be more confusion and more frustration.
We really have to remember that this is a temporary situation. It is all too easy to feel as though we will be here forever, mired in the injustice of many situations.
But as soon as I can, I will be applying for as many positions as I can find. I will be done with this nursing program.
I will have my car back. I will have my family, and friends, and pets.
I will have my whole wardrobe to select from as opposed to just a few articles of clothing that are not workout pants or scrubs. I will have my couch back, and my television, and my own bed!
I wish I could write more about the actual program, but there really is no more than a murky gray puddle as far as that goes.
And everyone is just trying to cling to something that will get them through. So these things I look forward to are the things which are really on my mind.
When you know the rules and rationales for success and those no longer apply, you have to just keep rolling along.
There’s nothing else you can do. Quitting is not an option.
It’s all about the NCLEX
It makes us all very uncomfortable that they are teaching us to pass a test, not to be capable nurses.
I’m sure we will have picked up things along the way that will serve us well, but they are so fragmented that we can’t really synthesize any of it into contiguous learning.
The teaching at this school has not met any of our expectations. My volunteer hours at the hospital in the ER are where I have learned the most.
We are being switched around for our clinical days again this next term, and that comes with its own collateral complications for me – transportation, mainly.
I think the big take-home message from me is: If you’re going to do a program like this, figure out a way to do it at home.
This was pretty much my only option, and it was definitely the best option in order to get it over with quickly.
But if possible, I recommend avoiding relocation.
All of the complications and disorganization are much easier to handle when everything is established and familiar.
There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home … Is it working yet? There’s no place like home …